‘I employ a lot of strategies to make sure that the depression doesn’t come back,” she told me. She described surrounding herself with positive people, monitoring her own thought patterns, and making sure she spends enough social time with her chamber group. “I think isolation is a huge component” of depression, she said. “A lot of us are introverts, and it’s easy to hide in your room."
This quote was taken from Katherine Sharpe’s Coming of Age on Zoloft. It sums up an idea that I keep coming across, that being with people helps and that feeling connected is good for us. But it also touches on the flip side, that some of us can be naturally predisposed to withdrawing from the world, we need a lot of space for ourselves. I get this: my usual inclination is to move away from people, not towards. It’s all too easy for my study to become my sanctuary.
So if being with people is good for us, how do we do it and how can we make sure that we stay connected? In San Francisco, one way to do this is through skill-sharing, which usually takes the form of a somewhat informal gathering in which people come together to learn something new. This is a city that likes to learn, in company.
One of the first such maker organizations here was WorkshopSF. Established in 2009 by Kelly Malone and David Knight, its focus is entirely on the handmade and DIY. Teachers are makers themselves who want to share their skills and expertise in at an atmosphere that is also conducive to socialising (they have a beer fridge). Their philosophy is about getting in there, learning or developing further a skill while having a chat with the person next to you, or just the teacher, who knows everything about something very special.
WorkshopSF’s classes are eclectic from screen-printing and ‘sewing for dudes’, to mixology, urban brewing and pie in a jar (!). And they have a lot of great lines (someone there is a writer) to talk up what they do: ‘Get off your computer. Get creative, Get your hands dirty. Get making.’; ‘Classes to get yo’self sharp.’ And ‘We’re like a dream date – cheap, fun and one night only.’
The idea of making is central to Joe’s Daughter, how we can create to connect, but you also need a little self-knowledge to figure out exactly which aspect of making appeals. And though I’m enormously proud of the one pillow and three pairs of pajama bottoms that I’ve made in previous classes (elsewhere), I’ve found that sewing is more my mum’s thing and not mine. I needed something dirtier but still kind of contained, so I chose a class making glass jar terrariums, and it was scheduled on mother’s day, which was rather convenient for the subject of this blog but also something of a mishap.
I went alone to the class. Didn’t even think about it, but everyone was in twos. Of course. Mums and daughters together, bonding. I felt like the single person at a wedding. Until the daughter half of a pair approached and asked if I wanted to join them. I said no, which is usually my inclination, but then she had a twinkle and so I changed my mind and said yes.
To make a terrarium: take any glass container (fish bowl, vase, coffee pot), add a layer of pebbles and handful of charcoal (there is no drainage). Then add soil, water it, add succulents and moss, and then water these. Done. It’s beautifully simple.
And while I made two very nice terrariums, it was the conversation with these two women, this mother and daughter, which made up the lesson of the day. We’d each studied English Lit, had Scottish connections (a boyfriend, an aunt, a uni), spoke baked goods with fluency (Devil’s Teeth Baking Company, Outerlands bread), and had stories to share on parenting (the necessity of boundaries, even in California).
When I left with my terrariums – for each of the boys in my life, because lets face it I wouldn’t be a mother without either my husband or son – we took photos and, yes, hugged (that word again). Then the mother I borrowed for the morning said; ‘I wish you lived in my neighborhood. I like you.” To like, not a page, but a person. That’s forming a connection in the real world.
Advice on keeping a terrarium alive: don’t overwater. Sunlight once a week, after all they are a plant.
Advice on keeping us in life: We can hide in the bathroom/bedroom all we like, but occasionally you need to get out, and make something, a terrarium, a connection, whatever works, whether you are in SF or elsewhere.
