At school I was a member of the debating club, which of course took itself very seriously. To show we had a sense of humour, we’d throw in a lighter subject in the summer term. In my year, we tabled a motion about hugs. I can’t remember the title, but it was something about whether they should be encouraged, and embraced. We had a daylight rule at the time at our mixed boys and girls school, which was being actively enforced. I argued on the side of hugs. My opponent suggested that hugs could lead to groping, of hands and body parts misplaced. I can’t remember who won, except that we had to hug at the end–all of which was very uncomfortable.
But what I know I didn’t argue for, and what might have swayed the debate in my direction, is that hugs can also be linked to something psychologically beneficial called "compassion". And oddly, this idea came to my attention earlier this week while sitting in the audience of TEDx in Hayward, California, watching the presentation by Dr Yotam Heineberg on the future of psychology. In the open source spirit of his talk, I’m going to paraphrase Heineberg horribly here:
Heineberg has worked with groups as diverse as traumatised veterans and gang members to study how to end the cycle of violence, trauma and aggression, and to examine how healing might be facilitated. He found that when he sat with people, collaborated and showed empathy, kindness and compassion for their pain, healing could happen. Reducing the symptoms wasn’t enough; he also needed to increase compassion. Which left him, he said, in that slightly uncomfortable territory between hippy talk and science; of realizing that his deepest learning is that people need a hug, they need compassion. He discovered that if we are able to increase the flow of kindness (not just within the limiting form of hugs), our psychological stance is better and we function better in the world.
Which all sounds good. But for one thing. We have a natural antipathy to compassion.
Heineberg also discussed research by Dr Paul Gilbert (who we’ll get to in a moment) that although compassion can help, people have a fear of compassion. We have a resistance to it, which manifests as a fear of expressing compassion for others, a fear of receiving compassion from others and a fear of expressing compassion for yourself. People (my school debate partner included) display an embittedness to kindness, and this correlates directly with our levels of psychological wellness. When people show resistance to ideas of compassion, they are more susceptible to stress, anxiety and depression.
So we know compassion is a good thing, but how do we access compassion? What is our vehicle, what are our tools? During his presentation, Heineberg identified three approaches--expert mediation, community engagement and web based platforms--that are being researched, promoted, and disseminated through the work of four people. I’m only going to name check each person and their association with compassion within the framework of Heineberg’s presentation, because I realize that if I go into them all here, in this single post, I’ll be falling down a very complex rabbit hole. So for now we'll just peek in:
Dr. Paul Gilbert: I often struggle to link California and the North of England, but it seems that Dr. Gilbert can do this for me. He is a Professor in Clinical Psychology at the University of Derby, and the director of its Mental Health Research Unit. Dr Gilbert has developed Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), which applies the ideas of compassion (self-kindness, self-acceptance) to the therapeutic process and relationship.
Dr Rony Berger: A clinical psychologist, Dr Berger is on the Faculty of the Stress, Crisis and Trauma Department at Tel Aviv University and makes the list for ERASE-Stress (Enhancing Resiliency Among Students Experiencing Stress). Berger developed a universal protocol for helping children cope in traumatic situations, by reducing stress and increasing compassion. This program was recently expanded at Stanford with ERASE Stress-Pro Social, which applies this within the context of university life.
Dr Ricardo Munoz: The director of I4Health at Palo Alto University, and one of directors for the International Society for Research on the Internet at PAU, Munoz is developing free web and tech based programs based on cognitive bahvioural models, with a strong emphasis on agency, to alleviate depression. According to Heineberg, Munoz is aiming to weave compassion into his work; his agenda to blanket the world with compassion and healing through web-based interventions.
Dr. Dan Martin: An Associate Professor of Management at California State University, East Bay, and Director of Peace Innovation Lab at CSUEB, Dr. Martin’s focus is on applying the lessons of social psychology within organizational settings. This has resulted in the creation of Clear Mentor--a peer-to-peer online mentorship program that connects young students with senior alumni, and junior employees with senior.
Dr Heineberg himself is the last figure to add to this list of those people (all men here I’m afraid) who are researching and disseminating active possibilities for applying compassion within a wellbeing context. Based at Stanford’s CCARE, he is developing a web based program, titled Values and Behaviours Tracking (VBT), that focuses on connecting with our core values, and engaging in kind behaviours to self and others, in order to increase joy and compassion.
Whether we like it or not then compassion is a good thing. Its also a subject that’s being talked up and around, particularly in the Bay Area. And compassion is a natural subject for psychological wellbeing and mental health; it affects how we view and judge not only others but also ourselves. It’s also a subject that sits closely with mental illness; often society lacks exactly this quality, of compassion, for those who might most benefit from it.
Over the coming weeks, Joe’s Daughter is going to try to come to terms with each of these aspects of compassion. But for now, lets leave it here: I move to make compassion part of our everyday lives, our interactions with self and others. Maybe this has your vote.