no judgment

Everybody has his or her prejudices. Everybody judges.

Within the wellness industries, we all have our perceptions of what is serious and what is cheesy, what is valid and what is kooky. And that’s particularly the case with choosing, if we choose at all, those people, or rather professionals, who we seek out to offer support.

Depending on whom we talk to and depending on the stage in the process, they might tell you something works or they might tell you that the same thing doesn’t. They may celebrate therapy, but shy away from coaching; they may advocate for acupuncture but have an aversion to homeopathy; they may encourage volunteering but tend to avoid people. It’s all terribly woolly, and somewhat confusing. Because all those things could switch around, the negatives becoming positives depending on whom you are having the conversation with and when. The supports, the strategies and the systems that we choose to negotiate our lives are this particular and this personal.

Joe’s Daughter is about sampling these different approaches. This week we’re going to focus on those methods that are based on being one-to-one with another person; someone who is there solely for you, whether for a half-hour burst of planning or the full therapeutic hour. We aim to offer up the different philosophies, and the people behind these, until it’s possible for us to sample on an individual level and to build one’s own, unique, life practice.

in treatment

We all have friends who know things: a great restaurant, book, art exhibition. They are our go to people when we need to find something: I’m bored with my music, who would you suggest I listen to? I have a free morning in the city, which café, in which neighborhood? I’m going out for a drink on a Thursday night, where do I go?

I’ve come to realize that I’m none of the above, but rather the person people ask for therapist recommendations. It keeps happening, a friend throws out an idea of seeing someone and the question comes up: do I know who might work for them?

I don’t think I’ve seen more than my fair share, though I could fit a serial monogamy therapy-goer profile. I think, or rather I hope, it’s more that I’m open about having been in therapy.

Finding the right therapist is a little like dating, you need to get out there and meet with a few to see who is a good fit. It’s also very much in the framework of blind dating at the moment: the first step is usually a list of names and numbers, a flyer on a notice board, or word of mouth. There are only a handful of yelp reviews and few websites to go on.

​Sophie Calle, Appointment with Sigmund Freud, 1999

So if you were in San Francisco, and you were to ask who’d I’d recommend, these would be my suggestions:

Jennifer Wanner: I saw Jennifer last year for a few issues with which I was struggling. She always framed what I said in ways that enabled me to get some clarity on the situation. Compassionate, human, and funny; her humour lightened our sessions and her support gave me the scaffolding to get me through. I would often sit on her step beforehand slightly lost, but I’d bounce home afterwards and write notes on our sessions to which I still refer. The best way to contact her is by phone:  415 567-6338.

Laura Hannibal: After the birth of my son, I went to one of Laura’s Anxiety Workshops. She runs wonderful short courses on coping strategies for anxiety, but she has also been a personal support for my family and I over the years. In addition to the Anxiety Workshops, Laura works with individuals and couples. She specializes in working with parents and helping people with anxiety. Her details are: 415-255-2656 / laurahannibal.mfti@gmail.com.

Jessica Herbold: I first saw Jessica on arriving in San Francisco over five years ago. I had to complete the therapy hours required for a counselling course I’d started in London. I’d gone into the relationship thinking I just had to fulfill a study requirement, but our sessions became more necessary and needed each week that we met. Jessica is a graduate of Stanford and the Wright Institute and I remember being struck by her theoretical approach, which appealed to someone more 'heady', although she also has a background in vipassana/meditation. Her number is: 415 441 6810.

Laura Hannibal

Jessica Herbold